I am 'Young Blogger of the Year'

Well, this has happened now.

What an amazing evening last night was, and what a shock, honour and joy to win my category. I want to share a little of the evening with you all.

Let's start at the very beginning

The awards were at The Brewery on Chiswell Street in London. Mel and I met with our friend James, all dressed in our best finery (I told you Mel's dress was stunning!) and made our way there.

We immediately knew we were in for the classiest evening of our lives so far. It's not that we aren't classy people (we might not be), but in our lines of work we don't often get to dress up, take drinks off trays being held by people, or eat food that good!

When we sat down, we got to know the folks on our table. They were fantastic company for the evening! On our left, the wonderful Gillian Scott – the man behind the brilliant 'God and Politics in the UK' blog site. If you haven't seen it, check it out! On our right, Ian Paul and his wife. I read some of Ian's books while I was at uni, so that was fun. He was there for his blog site 'Psephizo' (which isn't as hard to pronounce as people made out).

I was thrilled by the results for our table. Gillian was named runner-up in the 'Best Christian Blog' category – that's the big one – and Ian won the 'Best Leadership Blog' category. Then there was me.

The big moment

The 'Young Blogger of the Year' category was actually the first to be announced, so I didn't have to wait long. As the nominees were read out, my heart started to beat very very fast. The brilliant Sam Hailes was then named runner-up, our host called for a drumroll, and I couldn't believe my ears as I heard my name announced as winner.

Mind. Blown.

After receiving my prize, I was beckoned over to say a few words. Which I did. I had no idea what I was going to say until I was saying it, but that seemed to work out ok.

The truth is that I am very touched. It is such a joy to know that this blog, which is a hobby and a way for me to process my thoughts and beliefs, also blesses others. It is so gratifying to know that others find what I have to say useful, encouraging and worth reading. So thank you, right now, for being part of that and reading my blog.

My favourite thing

I know, without a doubt, what my favourite thing about the evening was. The best thing was that the evening exists at all. This event (the conference and the awards) is important.

As I found myself saying in my 'speech', I am part of a generation that lives online, that cannot do life – cannot process things, cannot be – without the internet. The online/offline divide doesn't exist in our brains, really. Social media and social life are intrinsically connected.

So to spend a day 'Re-imagining the Church in a Digital Age' and then celebrating the many fantastic folk who are doing just that already is a brilliant thing. An important thing.

I was astonished as I heard about people in different categories, amazed by the quality, creativity and diversity of ways folk are being church in the digital age. I will probably point to a few in the next few weeks (the full list is here). We were told last night, "Tonight is about us affirming and valuing diversity... Awards are about the affirmation of that which is good."

And I haven't had a better, or more affirming, evening in quite a while.

What I'm feeling

My thoughts are usually very well-structured, and so are my blog posts. This one won't be, because my thoughts and feelings are a bit all over the place.

Three days ago, our beautiful and precious dog, Ralph, was hit by a train while playing with one of his best dog friends, Mishka, and they both died. It was a horrible evening, and we are devastated. I know some of you won't be animal people and may not understand our grief, but we really have lost a huge part of our family, in a sudden and awful way.

We are grieving.

But I can't stay off social media. I can't stop checking the many supportive messages on Facebook and Twitter. And I also know I need to blog, so here I am. My online presence is so much a part of me (and this blog is a huge part of that) that I cannot process this all without doing so here.

So here's what I'm feeling

I'm feeling many things. I don't feel all of this all of the time, but I feel it all.

I feel devastated, shocked, sad, absolutely overwhelmed with sorrow at points. This shouldn't have happened. It doesn't make sense.

I feel confused. Why did it happen?

I feel emptiness. I can't get used to how quiet the house is, to not being woken up by him in the morning or having to put him outside last thing at night. There's something (someone) missing.

I feel closer to Mel that I probably ever have in our three and a bit years of marriage.

I feel it isn't real. If I'm honest, I don't think I believe yet that I'll never see him again. He's just gone away somewhere and he'll be back.

I feel totally overwhelmed and undone by the support, love and prayers of our friends, and especially of our church family at Gold Hill. Within 48 hours, our small group had rallied around, we had contact (a text, a tweet, a visit and a phone call) from each of the 4 pastors of the church, and we knew we had people to lean on. It was spectacularly moving for me.

I feel excited about the awards tomorrow night. This week has seen the highest traffic to my blog I've ever had. Messages of condolence were mixed on Tuesday and Wednesday with tweets, retweets and comments about posts. Which was an odd mix of emotions. But I'm still as excited at points as I was when I wrote on Monday.

I feel guilty for feeling excited about the awards tomorrow night. I should be sad, not happy. I should feel despair, not hope and excitement.

I feel numb a lot of the time.

I feel lucky to have shared these two and a bit years with such a wonderful, nosey, happy, friendly and enthusiastic-about-life dog. He taught me a lot.

I feel the need to say every couple of hours, in my head or out loud, "The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord." It's the only act of worship I've got in me right now.

I feel like keeping busy, but often can't focus on whatever I've decided to busy myself with.

I feel happy when I think about the many happy memories of Ralph we have. We spent last night with the couple who owned the other dog. We spent the evening telling stories and laughing. It was beautiful.

Then I feel sad afterwards.

I feel no better for having shared all of this, but know it will have helped.

If you liked this post, please share using the buttons below. Also, you can subscribe by clicking here to get all future posts by email. Thanks for reading!

I'm going to the BAFTAs! (almost...)

Me: What you up to at the weekend?
You: Nothing much. How about you?
Me: Same, not much. Except I'm going to an AWARDS CEREMONY at an AWESOME CONFERENCE!!
You: Ok.

Yes. It's true. On Saturday Mel, a friend and I will be dressing up all fancy (Mel got a new dress, and she looks stunning in it!) and going to an evening of awards as part of the Christian New Media conference in London. If you don't know Christian New Media, they're a great organisation and you should check them out.

Why I'm going.

I've not been talking about this too much, but the reason I'm going is that I'm on the shortlist for one of the awards. Or rather, the blog you're currently reading is. My very own 'Limping into Truth' is up for the 'Best Young Blogger' category. I'm really very honoured and thrilled about this.

I've not blogged about it yet because I've not wanted to be all 'self-promotion-y' about it. But, truth is I was blown away to find I'd been nominated (thanks again, by the way, if you're reading!) and even more blown away to find I'd been shortlisted. And when I look at the quality of the other bloggers in my category, I'm knocked off my feet. I want to point you to them now, because they're great! They are:

• samhailes.com – I love Sam's take on things. He's made me think and laugh in roughly equal measures, reflecting on everything from Halloween to deodorant...
• 'Stuck on the Rooftops' – Mike is an English Lit student, and he writes just as well as one of them (is it 'those', Mike?) should! I love his honesty and reflections on life as it happens.
• 'Neill Before the Lord' – This is Hannah Neill's blog. First off, I love a blog site with a pun in the name. I just do. But I also love Hannah's openness in sharing her spiritual life online.
• 'Live Laugh and Love God' – Claire's blog is not just thought-provoking and encouraging – it's so impressive that she blogs every day. Simple but meaningful daily reflections – love it.

I honestly recommend all of them. (The shortlist for all categories is here)

Why I'm excited.

Anyway, back to the awards as a whole. Why am I excited to go?

I'm excited because we don't get to do this kind of thing very often. Getting dressed up, having fancy food – it's all a bit of a novelty for us!

I'm excited because I love my blog and I love that others love it too. I have loved doing this since January, and I'm really psyched I'm not the only one.

I'm excited to hopefully meet the four people who've produced the four great blogs linked to above.

I'm excited about spending the evening with my gorgeous wife and great friend.

But most of all, I'm excited because I think social media and the internet matter. So much of the world's way of working is online now. Business, education, and – yes – social life. I think social media can get a pretty bad rep, but it is a phenomenal tool which can be harnessed for amazing good and for the growth of the Kingdom of God. I'm excited to spend an evening with people doing just that.

I'm excited!!!

If you liked this post, please share using the buttons below. Also, you can subscribe by clicking here to get all future posts by email. Thanks for reading!